Tag: relationships

People are more important than ideas – Episode 177

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The Story: Human connection trumps ideology

If you are passionate about something, it’s normal to speak out about it, and as a consequence, you can find yourself in debates or heated discussions in what would otherwise be polite company. In the worst case scenario, you might even get carried away, start talking over your companions or even calling them names.

In the heat of the moment, defending a humanitarian ideal, you might forget that there are humans right in front of you, with whom you have the opportunity to make a real human connection. The real tragedy is when you allow your political beliefs to interfere with your friendships, sacrificing something real and present for something abstract and distant. It can even tear families apart, and it can even be used deliberately by powerful people to do so – separating Republicans from Democrats, Labor from Liberal, ancoms from ancaps, Venezuelans who wear 7 stars from those who wear 8 stars.

After a bit of travelling, my friend David Robison wrote: “Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE whom I have talked with is willing to have a conversation. Left, right, up, down, doesn’t matter. If you simply approach them and demonstrate basic levels of respect as a human being they will sit with you and share their ideas, thoughts, concerns. All they want is to be UNDERSTOOD. You don’t have to agree, they just want to explain where they’re coming from and they want you to understand it.”

Understanding and being understood are things that are always available to us. Real human connection is always available to us. Feel free to debate, be controversial and contradict. But remember that we all want similar things – to be comfortable, to be understood, to be loved.

The Cash:

If you enjoy our posts, please become a patron on Patreon, or have a look at The Paradise Paradox’s page on Steemit where you can join, earn money, and upvote our posts to help support the show! You can also find a lot of additional content which is not posted on this site, with Kurt’s posts on Steemit.

We really appreciate all of your contributions! Every cent and satoshi we receive lets us know that we’re doing something worthwhile, that you are entertained by our program, and that you’re starting to question what you know more and more. Please be generous. Donate to The Paradise Paradox. Or buy some stuff on Amazon using this link. Or buy some of our great T-shirts here.

The Episode:

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Sterlin Lujan: Compassionate Anarchy – Episode 156

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The Story: Sterlin Lujan’s approach of relational anarchy

Every day millions of freedom lovers take to social media in an attempt to argue their way to a freer world, trying to convince people that they should be able to enjoy liberty, that they have rights that should be respected, that they are sovereign individuals who should command their own autonomy. Most of the time, the response is “No, I shouldn’t, no I don’t, and no I’m not.” The freedom lovers fail because they try to isolate people’s beliefs with logic, quickly making them defensive. Few people really want to hear how wrong they are, how foolish they’ve been for believing in government indoctrination, and how many contradictions their outlook contains.

Sterlin Lujan has a different approach. By using the insights that he has gained from studying psychology, he has devised a method called “compassionate anarchy” or “relational anarchy”. He says that instead of trying to be combative, we should learn to relate to people. By building positive connections with people, we can allow the essence of freedom to enter right now. By practising respect, we create respect.

In this episode, Kurt interviews Sterlin about his ideas on how to embrace and spread liberty, how certain substances such as ecstacy (MDMA) may give us insight into how to be more empathetic, how the desire to rule or be ruled is a type of stress response to an authoritarian society, and how stress responses can be healed using different types of talk therapy.

Join us on another psychologically anarchic episode of … The Paradise Paradox!

The Links:

Thomas Szasz on Wikipedia

Thomas Szasz Cybercenter for Liberty and Responsibility

Prodromal phase of psychosis

The Cash:

If you enjoy our posts, please have a look at The Paradise Paradox’s page on Steemit where you can join, earn money, and upvote our posts to help support the show! You can also find a lot of additional content which is not posted on this site, with Kurt’s posts on Steemit and Aaron’s posts on Steemit.

We really appreciate all of your contributions! Every cent and satoshi we receive lets us know that we’re doing something worthwhile, that you are entertained by our program, and that you’re starting to question what you know more and more. Please be generous. Donate to The Paradise Paradox. Or buy some stuff on Amazon using this link. Or buy some of our great T-shirts here.

The Episode:

To download the audio, right click and press “save as”.

Remember to subscribe on iTunes or subscribe on Pocket Casts.

If you enjoyed the episode, don’t keep it a secret! Feel free to share it on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Reddit, or your office bathroom wall.

Episode 115 – Standards – Consciously Choosing My Partner

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The Episode:


To download the audio, right click and press “save as”.

Remember to subscribe on iTunes or subscribe on Pocket Casts.

If you enjoyed the episode, don’t keep it a secret! Feel free to share it on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Reddit, or your office bathroom wall.

The Cash:

We really appreciate all of your contributions! Every cent and satoshi we receive lets us know that we’re doing something worthwhile, that you are entertained by our program, and that you’re starting to question what you know more and more. Please be generous. Donate to The Paradise Paradox. Or buy some stuff on Amazon using this link. Or buy some of our great T-shirts here.

The Story:

For many people, finding a partner is a question more of chance, than of design. They don’t necessarily start out with a firm idea of the kind of person they are trying to attract, and they don’t necessarily learn to clearly identify the specific qualities they’re looking for in the potential partners that they meet. And so, for most people, relationships can be like a kind of random walk, and in a culture that puts Disney-style romance above compatibility or the hard work of building a solid foundation for a relationship, perhaps it’s no wonder that so many marriages end in divorce.

To the minds of many, it may seem overly-calculating to try to design the kind of relationship you want, and it may seem contrived to work on a relationship to make something work, because the “natural assumption” is that love should flow effortlessly, with no struggles and not even a thought. Unfortunately, the reality is normally very different.

In this episode, Kurt talks to Aaron about the kind of attitude and energy that is attractive to a woman, and to people in general, about why he’s decided to not engage in sexual activity for the moment, and the kinds of things he is looking for in a woman, as a life partner, to create the most favourable conditions for a successful relationship – firstly, that she be bilingual, secondly that she is interested in psychedelics, and finally that she has learned the important life lesson of “Practise something, and you will get better at it.”

Let’s examine ourselves and our expectations of the world, in the next episode of The Paradise Paradox.

The Eps:

 

A Visit to the Pyramids of Guachimontones 

Ep93 – Polyamory and Monogamy 

Ep99 – Masculine intuition 

Ep69 – Ayahuasca Diaries Part 3 

Ep68 – Ayahuasca Diaries Part 2 

Ep67 – The Ayahuasca Diaries Part 1

Episode 93 – Polyamory and Monogamy

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The Episode:


To download the audio, right click and press “save as”.

Remember to subscribe on iTunes or subscribe on Pocket Casts.

If you enjoyed the episode, don’t keep it a secret! Feel free to share it on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Reddit, or your office bathroom wall.

The Cash:

We really appreciate all of your contributions! Every cent and satoshi we receive lets us know that we’re doing something worthwhile, that you are entertained by our program, and that you’re starting to question what you know more and more. Please be generous. Donate to The Paradise Paradox. Or buy some stuff on Amazon using this link. Or buy some of our great T-shirts here.

The Story:

Many people assume that having a monogamous relationship is normal and healthy. Many men get into long-term relationships, enjoy themselves for a while, but soon feel the need for the exhilarating touch of another woman’s skin, a craving for sexual diversity which many believe is biological. In such cases, men will turn to pornography, going to strip clubs, or cheating on their partners outright, with prostitutes or other women. In some parts of the world, these habits are very much frowned on, but in others they are somewhat accepted – as long as the wife never hears about it.

Individuals in the polyamorous community have decided that it doesn’t make sense to fight these urges, but instead work with them, by embracing multiple partners, in loving relationships. Humans are tribal animals, they say, and part of that tribal kinship involves sexuality. Of course, by solving the problem of cheating, they open up other problems – of course, having a relationship with one person is difficult enough.

Still others will contend that having a strictly monogamous relationship is very difficult, but entirely worth it, in maintaining the sanctity of marriage, and also providing for children in a consistent, stable environment – an environment which can even indirectly protect against government tyranny, by ensuring the family trust each other more than they do the authorities.

Which type of relationship is right for you? A monogamous relationship, a crazy single life where you screw everybody, or perhaps even complete abstinence? We explore these concepts and more, in the next willy-shaking episode of … The Paradise Paradox!

The Links:

Men’s testosterone boosted by interactions with women – sex or even flirting

Why men cheat – a life and death situation

Sex at Dawn Venn diagram

Polyamory diaries – I’m not trying to be your girlfriend

Polyamory diaries – why friends aren’t enough